Drunk
by bond2012
Summary: Remus is worrying about how his 'furry little problem' will affect his teaching career at Hogwarts when he is paid a visit by a very drunk Harry Potter. Having know Harry for a long time Remus begins to worry about how the boy is becoming distracted and reckless and sets out to discover what is upsetting him. The problem, is not an easy one to solve... no slash deffinately fluff :
1. Chapter 1

Drunk

(Please note, i have changed ages of characters because it is essential that Lupin is quite young)

Harry Potter stumbled, unable to see straight in the general direction of safety. His head was fuzzy and his eyes were blurring. He imagined that if he tried to say something the words would come out as a slurry jumble. He tripped his way forwards, clinging onto anything that seemed solid. His biggest problem, though he was currently unaware of it, was the approaching staircase. There was no way he would be able to remember to avoid the invisible step in his current condition.

Despite the fuzzing his head was miraculouly clear, it was telling him where to go. He was listening to the tiny voice as though it was a life preserver. He staggered forwards, still listening to the instructions of the alochol-influenced voice. He laughed at nothing in particular and continued his journey through the deserted corridors of sleeping Hogwarts.

Remus Lupin couldn't sleep. His room was comfortable and warm but he couldn't help worrying about the meeting tomorrow. It would determine whether, now that the students knew about his condition, he could continue to teach here at Hogwarts. He was confident that Dumbledore would sway the opinions of the Governors but he still had an unfriendly niggling doubt which kept raising the issue of what he would do if the decision was against him.

Remus had grown quite fond of teaching and the extra money that he was recieving from doing so was a very comforting asset to his life. Here at Hogwarts he had a nice chamber to live in which was warm, clean and comfortable. He had friends in many of the staff and enjoyed passing on his knowledge to the students. Remus had nothing outside of Hogwarts, no home, no money, no nothing. He needed to stay. If the vote was against him he wasn't sure what he would do. The heavy weighted worries were just about to consume him and leave that sickening knot in his gut when he was distracted. He got up out of the armchair and padded barefoot across to the door. He could have sworn that he had heard a faint knock.

Remus clasped his wand tightly in his hand and listened intently at the door for several seconds. A second, louder knock startled him and he jumped. Brushing his soft fringe out of his eyes he slowly unlatched the chain on the door. Outside his chamber was a young man leaning heavily on the stone wall. His hair was messier than usual and his face was flushed and sweating. He looked as though he was about to vomit, and Lupin had the good sense to jump back just before he did.

Harry Potter emptied the contents of his stomach onto the floor just in front of Lupin's feet. Remus wrinkled his nose in disgust but caught the boy before he fell very gracelessly into the puddle of his own sick. Harry's uniform was in disarray. His shirt was untucked and his tie was on very loosely. His cloak was draped over him but it was missing one shoulder completely and he was not wearing his glasses. Remus could smell the stench of firewhisky on the boy's breath and sighed as he pulled him into the room.

He dragged Harry to the sofa and lay him down before hurrying back to the door and vanishing the pile of vomit. He padded back over to Harry to see him turning a pale shade of grey and looking as though he was about to vomit again. Lupin summoned the bin just in time as Harry hurled and wretched before finally throwing up into it. He looked dreadful. Lupin held the bin and watched as the boy sat up and brushed his hair out of his face with shaking fingers. Lupin put his hand on Harry's back in a comforting way as he vomitted again.

Not wanting to question him too much, Lupin left Harry on the sofa, holding the bin tightly to his chest while he went to fetch a blanket. He returned to see Harry shivering as a cold sweat poured down his grey face. Lupin had brought a damp flannel as well and placed it gently onto the boy's head. He winced sligthly as the cool cloth touched his scar. With his spare hand, Remus threw the thick blanket over Harry's back.

"Are you ok Harry?" Remus asked tentatively, the boy shook his head slowly before throwing up into the bin. Remus knew that the sickness was down to too much alcohol but he was not sure why the boy had been driven to drinking. As there was no reason for celebration he assumed something must be troubling Harry. He had known Harry all his life, even if the boy couldn't remember, and was upset to see him this way.

Lily had fallen pregnant with Harry aged only 18. James had justified it by saying "I'm a marauder, it had to be scandalous!".Remus had been good friends of both of them. The young couple had only been gone from Hogwarts for several months but James was already studying to become an auror and Lily was desperate for a baby. As Remus struggled to get work due to his condition, he spent many days with Lily at home helping her through her pregnancy while James and Sirius studied. James and Lily had only been 20 years old when they were killed. When he found out, Remus thought his whole world had ended. Sirius was a traitor, his friends were dead and so were his family. Remus was alone. He had begged Dumbledore to let him raise Harry, but as usual Dumbledore already had a plan. Remus had spent most of his youth alone, studying to be a defence teacher and was delighted when Dumbledore offered him a role at Hogwarts. Now he could gain a closer relationship with Harry who he felt would be in need of something close to family.

As Remus watched Harry vomit and shiver he realised that Harry needed someone to guide him. Although Remus was neither a relation or guardian of Harry he felt very protective of him and wanted to help the shivering young man get back on track. Lupin had noticed that the boy had become distant lately and paid less attention in his lessons. He had also spied him walking alone and eating very early in the morning. Remus suspected this was so he could avoid contact with other people, it was a trick that he himself employed. Remus had been considering questioning Harry about what was troubling him for the past week and now he had a reason too.

Harry removed his head from the bin and Lupin noticed purpley black bags under his bloodshot eyes. Harry was only 15. If something was troubling him enough to cause him lack of sleep, it must be serious.

"Harry?" Remus asked softly. Harry looked at his professor but his eyes were blurry and he couldnt focus or see a thing. He nodded anyway to show he was listening.  
"Are you ok?" Harry shook his head and slumped back into the chair. He hadnt realised that Lupin's arm was on his back and twitched awkwardly when he realised he had crushed it behind him. He moved upwards to release it.  
"Sorry" he slurred. Lupin laughed gently and moved the boy so he was lying took off his shoes and tie, to stop it strangling him as he slept; then wrapped the blanket tightly around him and sat on the opposite armchair as he fell asleep.

Harry Potter slept well that night, Remus Lupin didn't sleep at all. He stayed awake watching Harry to make sure he didn't choke on his own vomit while he slept. He sat watching the boy's chest rise and fall and was painfully reminded of James. It wasn't the first time he'd helped someone who was ridiculously drunk. Remus often used to carry James or Sirius home and tuck them into bed and guard them while they slept. Remus sighed sadly at the memory of one particular night where James had shown up drunk on his doorstep, quite like his son had done tonight. He had vomitted all over Remus' feet and then collapsed into his arms. Lupin had to drag him to the sofa and call Lily who came over at once to pick up her husband and take him home. That had only been a couple of weeks before they had been killed. James had been celebrating his passing the auror exams.

Lupin sighed again then rubbed his itching eyes. It was going to be a long night.


	2. Chapter 2

**Thank you for the lovely reviews thus far :) I'm glad you're enjoying it :) x bond2012**

Chapter 2

The next morning, Harry awoke to feel his head throbbing painfully and his stomach aching and rumbling. He still felt sick and tired . He was about to fall asleep again when he was started with a jolt. Where the hell was he? He sat up quickly and felt his head rush painfully, tiny white spots appeared in front of his blurry eyes. He reached up to find his glasses missing and began to panic.

Remus carried a mug of tea to where Harry was sitting. He watched him fumble around for a while obviously looking for his glasses,then coughed loudly.

Harry froze. Who was that?  
"Hello?" he mumbled nervously

"Good morning Harry." said a bright voice he recognised at once. Thank god it was Lupin. He had been panicking that he had been found by someone much sterner and unsympathetic such as Snape or McGonagall.

"P-Professor?" Harry stuttered

"Hmmm?" Lupin hummed as he set down the tea on the coffee table in front of Harry.

"Er-er...I cant see." Harry muttered.

"Of course, here you go." Lupin pressed a pair of glasses into Harry's hand. He pushed them onto his face and at once the scene flooded into view.

He was sitting on a red fabric sofa by a large fireplace. Before him was a steaming mug of tea resting on a wooden table. A fire was roaring in the grate and a blanket was covering Harry's body. The walls of the room were lined with bookshelves, stacked to breaking point and the table in front of him was littered with exam papers and essays to be marked. Light was flooding into the room from a small window on the back wall. Harry looked up at his professor and saviour. He was wearing a patched pair of brown trousers and a casual jumper over a plain shirt. He was sipping from a mug of tea gently and his eyes looked amused. Harry asumed that he must be in Lupin's private chamber and blushed when he realised where he was. It was weird to see his professor standing before him in his socks and slack clothes. Harry had never thought about where Lupin might live. He looked nervously at his professor and then flicked his eyes away quickly worried about the punishment he would inevitably recieve.

Lupin looked at Harry who was looking down, ashamed and embarrassed. He had watched as the boy had drank in the scene and then panicked as he pieced together what must have happened. Lupin had almost laughed when the young man's jaw had dropped comically as he realised where he was.  
"Drink your tea Harry." Lupin smiled and sat down on the armchair, opposite to Harry. The tea looked desperately inviting and Harry reached out slowly and grasped it. It was warm and the first gulp helped relieve the ache in his head a little bit. Lupin was watching Harry closely while sipping his tea softly.  
"Would you like to explain what happened last night Harry?" Lupin asked in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper.  
Harry looked away. He didn't want to tell Lupin. Obviously the man knew that Harry had been drunk, but he needn't know the reason why. Harry took another gulp of tea to fill the awkward pause.  
"Erm...I drank a bit too much..." Harry muttered. To his suprise Lupin laughed. He looked up to see an amused smile playing on the man's lips.  
"I guessed that much." he replied with a chuckle. Harry smiled embarrasedly then looked away again.  
"Why were you drinking Harry? You know it is against the school rules." Lupin pressed.  
"Um... dunno." Harry muttered "Ok." Lupin finished. Harry looked up, the man had suprised him again. Most teachers would have pressed and tried to find out what had gone on. They would then have punished him severly and sent him away with a month's worth of detentions and a significantly lower amount of house points. Lupin had taken Harry in, cleaned him up, lay him down, brought him tea and let him get away scot free. Unsure of what was going on Harry built up the courage to ask Professor Lupin why he was being so lenient.

"Professor?" he stuttered. The young professor looked up from his stare at the floor and put down his tea.  
"Hmm?" he hummed again.  
"Erm... why haven't you told me off?" Harry mumbled.  
"Well, Harry. I know that this behaviour is out of character for you and I know that this must mean something is bothering you. If you do not wish to tell me what that something is, I will not pry, however I do not see fit to punish you as long as you promise it will not happen again." Harry nodded ethusiastically. Lupin knew something was wrong. Maybe he should tell him...  
"Erm... Professor?" Lupin nodded to show he was listening,"Erm..." he couldn't do it. "Thanks." he muttered instead. Lupin's eyes flashed for a moment. He knew Harry had almost confided in him.  
"Quite alright Harry." he replied with a smile. Harry returned the smile nervously and finished the last of his tea.  
"I'll go then Professor..." he suggested to his silent saviour. Harry put down his mug and put on his shoes which were placed neatly by the side of the sofa. Lupin stood up and led him to the door. As he exited, Harry muttered another thank you.  
"My door is always open Harry, if you wish to talk." Lupin bowed his head politely as Harry mumbled something and walked away.

Remus closed the door behind Harry and walked back to the small sitting room. He collected the empty mugs and carried them to the kitchen. He returned moments later to the armchair by the fire. He was exhausted from sitting up all nigth keeping an eye on Harry. He curled up on the chair and fell into a well-deserved sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

Lupin awoke with a start. Realisation hit him like a train. He swore loudly then jumped out of the chair and raced to his bedroom, his socks slipping wildly on the wooden floor. He searched the wardrobe frantically for his best shirt, the one that was the least shabby, and best pair of trousers. He pulled the shirt quickly over his head and began throwing on the trousers all the while muttering "hurry,hurry,hurry" under his breath. Next he grabbed a tie from the drawer and tugged it around his neck. It was a little too rough and it choked him briefly. He slowed down as he loosened it and then rushed into the bathroom. While he brushed his teeth he pulled on his socks and shoes. Grabbing a cloak from the back of his bedroom door he hurried out of his chamber flattening his hair nervously.

He sped along the corridoor, skidding round corners. Several students called after him or yelled "What's the rush?" as he ran flat out to Dumbledore's office. Soon he had reached the grumpy gargoyles that guarded the enterance to the Hedmaster's study.  
"What do you want?" one of them snapped. Lupin tried to catch his breath as he muttered "I've-I've got a meeting with-the headmaster." he panted.  
"Hmmmmm..." the other statue grumbled as the phoenix staircase revealed itself to Remus. He jumped on quickly and tried to relax his breathing as it twisted and turned its way up.

By the time it had reached the top, Remus had caught his breath. The staircase stopped with a small thud and he stepped of onto the small landing. In front of him was a large wooden door which lead directly into Dumbledore's office. He gulped. His breathing was now in check but his heart was thudding double time. He moved towards the door. Despite his hurry previously, he could have waited a lifetime to open this door. He raised a shaking hand and knocked. The general murmur of chat that cold be heard from outside died down and Lupin heard a familiar voice call "Come in."

Remus opened the door to unveil the scene. Inside the cluttered office, behind a large lavish desk sat Albus Dumbledore. He had the tips of his fingers pressed together and his eyes twinkled pleasantly over his half moon spectacles. He smiled when he saw Remus. Around the front of the desk were many armchairs, each filled with a man in a smart suit, bar one. These men did not smile when they saw the young professor, they glared. Several had the decency to nod in his direction. They were all smartly dressed and looked aristocratic. Lupin felt his hand grow sweaty and his face begin to heat up as he became the object of their gaze. Dumbledore smiled and pointed to a seat.  
"Sorry I'm late..." Lupin began but Dumbledore waved him down.  
"Not at all Remus, do take a seat." Lupin walked slowly to the vacant armchair. His movements were folowed by the curious, unfriendly eyes of the school govenors. Lupin took his seat nervously and gave the men a weak smile. He was saved the pain of starting the discussion by the Headmaster who adressed all those sat in front of him.

"Governors," he began "I would like you to meet Remus John Lupin. He is currently our defence against the dark arts teacher and the subject of today's discussion."

Remus didn't know what to do, normally he was calm and relaxed in situations of great stress or danger however today he was incredibly unnerved. He needed them to be open minded about his condition. He needed the job and especially now since he had discovered something was wrong with Harry. He needed to keep his place at Hogwarts.

"Please, voice your opinions on the matter of whether Remus may continue to teach at Hogwarts." Dumbledore smiled pleasantly at the crowd. The first to speak was a man with a very pointed face. He looked stern and not at all understanding. Lupin felt the warm flame of hope die a bit in his chest.

"It is of course ridiculous to allow this creature to continue to be in the presence of these students." the man began. Lupin was used to being treat like an animal however the word 'creature' evoked anger in one of the other governors. To Lupin's suprise the man stood up to face the first and began a rant which was very convincing and supportive.

"Governor Hardry, I hardly believe it is acceptable for you to address this gentleman as creature. He has been cursed with an unforntunate condition. He cannot change this, however bet he wishes he could. This young man has so far been a fine teacher and the students have no objection to his employment. He has never had any accidents in his entire life with this curse and he is willing to take any measures to ensure the children's safety." Lupin felt a bit more hopeful, the man continued his argument and many of the governors began to nod along with him.

"Thank you Governor Bones." Dumbledore said after the man finished. "Any more comments?" he asked

Most of the governors shook their heads however the man who had openly objected first stood back up.  
"I can't believe you are going to let this dangerous animal be around our students." Lupin felt a surge of anger. He was sick of being treat like a naughty schoolboy by this man for a condition he could not change.

"I am not dangerous." He said, standing up to face the man. "I have never, in my 28 years with this condition had any accidents or injured anyone."

The governor stammered something in reply but one of the other men yelled "Sit down Hardry."

Dumbledore smiled serenly. "Shall we vote?" 


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

"My door is always open Harry if you wish to talk." Lupin said as Harry stood outside his chamber.  
"Yeah thanks Professor." Harry mumbled. He watched Lupin close the door before setting off down the corridor alone. He was in no hurry. It was still early and he could sneak back into his dorm without anyone noticing he had spent the night somewhere else. His head was throbbing painfully but at least the sickness was dying off. He traced the familiar route to the Gryffindor common room slowly, kicking his feet as he walked. Lupin had given him an oppurtunity to share his worries and he had rejected it again.

As he walked he cursed himself for once again denying help and letting himself get caught up in his worries and reached the fat lady in no time and clambered in. The common room was empty as it was still very early, the clock on the fireplace said 6am. Harry dragged his feet upwards to his dorm. It was a good job it was a Saturday, Harry thought miserably. He snuck into the room as quietly as he could and clambered into his bed without putting on pyjamas. He curled up and fell back into a troubled sleep.

Ron woke Harry up at 10am by shaking him.  
"Gunna get up mate?" he grunted "I want to go down for breakfast." Harry blinked and reached for his glasses before mumbling a sleepy "Yeah"

The two boys got dressed then met Hermione down in the common room several minutes later. She wished them a good morning and then lead the way out of the portrait hole and down to the Great hall. Harry stumbled along behind his best friends as they discussed the weather, then school...then the weather again. By the time they had reached the Great Hall, Harry was ready to go back to sleep. The trio found seats near the end of the long Gryffindor table and began filling up their plates. Harry still felt mildly sick so he took a glass of water and a small bit of toast. Ron was busy piling his plate with sausage, eggs and any other meat that was in arms reach. He was talking away to Harry and Hermione about the quidditch result but neither was listening. Harry was staring up at the teachers table, searching for professor Lupin. He was absent from the meal. Harry returned to his toast.

In his mind he struggled with the possibilty of telling Lupin what was wrong. He thought of the advantages first. Lupin was a young man who seemed to understand the teenagers better than some of the older teachers, he was a very calm and level headed person from what Harry could gather and would be patient with him as well as give him some good advice and he was less likely to judge than some other teachers as he had experienced many problems of his own. The down side was that he didn't want Lupin to think he was weak. He had already stopped him from fighting a Boggart, he wanted him to see that he was brave but going and moaning about something like this would not change Lupin's opinion.

Harry chewed on the toast thoughtfully but it tasted like cardboard in his mouth so he washed it down with another sip of water. Ron and Hermione were both absorbed in their own thoughts. Ron was muttering something under his breath while his eyes were glazed over and he stared at nothing in particular. The top of Hermione's bushy hair was just visible from over the top of her copy of the Daily Prophet. Harry stood up and muttered something about going for a walk but both just muttered a quick "Ok" in reply. Ron was very distracted these days as well but he wasn't sure why. Hermione had always been someone who had prioritised work and as they were getting rather a lot of it these days she seemed very frantic. Today was the first time in several weeks Harry had seen her looking fresh and less tired. He left his friends at the table and walked slowly back to the common room.

His day was uneventful. He did a few pieces of homework and played a few games of exploding snap with Ron. All the time, his debate as to whether telling Lupin his worry was a good idea or not, battled out in his head. At about 5pm he decided that the best thing to do was to go and visit Lupin. This way he would get to know him slightly better and see whether telling him was a good idea.

He walked slowly to Lupin's room. He was nearing the defence corridor when the Remus sped past Harry. Shocked, Harry turned in time to see the young professor running flat out through the corridoor. He yelled after him but he didnt stop. Soon he was out of sight. Harry turned around and headed back to his common room grumpily. "I'll visit him later then..." he mumbled as he walked. 


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

"Whats up mate?" Ron asked

Harry hadn't realised that for the past ten minutes he had been staring into space with an expression of confusion plastered all over his tired face. Harry looked up quickly and rearranged his features into a lying smile.  
"Nothing, just got lost in my thoughts." he did a dry chuckle to try and prove his point but neither Ron nor Hermione looked convinced.  
"Well, you've been doing that a lot lately." Hermione piped up. Ron nodded at her words.  
"Look mate, if something is wrong, you can tell us you know." he added, this time it was Hermione's turn to nod in agreement.

Harry sighed. He didn't want to tell them because he knew how they would react. They would try and convince him that everything would be ok and that all he had to do was go to Dumbledore. He knew Ron would pale and look shocked and Hermione would rabbit on about all the things they could do to make things better. Harry didn't need that right now. He needed someone to understand. Someone who would tell him the truth and just accept it ,not spring into action with a dangerous plan. He needed to tell Lupin.

Harry looked at his friends. They were staring anxiously at him obviously wondering what was wrong. He hated lying to them but sometimes it was for the best...  
"Nothing, I just need to go see Professor Lupin about something. I'll be back soon." His friends looked confused but didn't argue. They watched as he made his way carefully out of the common room.

Once outside Harry stopped and leant against the wall. The cool stone felt nice against his prickling scar. He hadn't slept for three days and his head felt tight and stuffy, as though his skull was closing in around his brain. He rubbed his head roughly and started making his way down to the third floor, where Lupin lived.

It was only half an hour until curfew so most students were relaxing in their common rooms. Harry was glad that the corridoors were so quiet, he didn't feel up to making conversation with people. His eyes were stinging with exhaustion and his limbs ached. Despite this discomfort, he continued on his way to find Remus Lupin. He knew he was doing the right thing for once, confiding in the young teacher.

Lupin had been outed as a werewolf at the closing of the last school year. Many parents had been outraged but Dumbledore had refused to accept Lupin' resignation. He had demanded his return for the next school year, to many of the pupil's delight. Although several students treat him with a bit more hostility, most of the school body had learned accept Lupin's condition. Lupin was a pleasant young man, very polite and an excellent teacher. Harry didn't see why being a werewolf should affect his life very much. It took Hermione's explanation of werewolf rights and legal obligations to make Harry understand why there was such objection to his employment. Harry liked the Professor and hoped he would continue his teaching for a long time.

Harry arrived outside Lupin's personal chambers in a very short time. He knocked hesitantly and heard a familiar voice call from inside "Just a minute". Harry waited for several seconds before a very cheerful looking Lupin answered the door. He was wearing his usual shirt and tie, but it was loose at the neck and he looked more relaxed.  
"Harry!" he beamed "How can I help?" Lupin smiled brightly at Harry who looked down nervously and mumbled something in a low voice.  
"I didn't quite catch that Harry, you will have to speak up?" Lupin asked. Harry wrung his hands nervously.  
"Erm... I was wondering whether we could have a chat about something." Lupin noticed that Harry didn't meet his eyes as he spoke.  
"Its very close to curfew Harry, can it wait until tomorrow?" Lupin frowned, puzzled by the late visit from the young boy.  
"Erm... not really." Harry mumbled.  
"Very well, come in." Lupin stood aside to allow Harry enterance into his home.

It was exactly how Harry remembered it from his night there several days ago. It was warm and comfortable. Lupin indicated to the sofa Harry had slept on, not long ago and he sat down. Lupin sat opposite him. For a short while, neither spoke. Remus broke the silence by offering Harry a drink.

While Lupin prepared two steaming mugs of tea, Harry took his absense as an oppurtunity to look more closely at the home. There were three comfortable chairs situated by the fire;the sofa Harry was sitting on and two deep red, fabric armchairs. In the centre of these chairs was a large wooden coffee table which had collected more clutter since Harry's last visit. There were more essay stacked messily on its top and two or three empty mugs. Harry also noticed an open tub of ink and a broken quill by one stack of papers. The fire roared merrily in the grate and Harry gazed at the photographs on top of the mantelpiece. There were several: one was of a young boy and an older man holding hands and waving in a park. Harry assumed this must be Lupin and his father as the small boy had the same floppy blonde hair as his professor. This explained the next photo of the same older man and a woman sitting together beaming from a park bench. The final photo on the mantel was very familiar. Harry noticed a slightly younger Lupin, his right arm linked with a young woman with red hair and startling green eyes... With a jolt Harry realised it was his mother. He stood up to look more closely at the photograph. Lupin was smiling and laughing and the young woman's hair was blowing gently in the breeze. To her right was another figure Harry recognised. His hair was black and ruffled as though he had just dismounted a broom, as Harry watched he used his hand to push a pair of glasses that were sliding down his nose, back up his face. His other hand was grasping Harry's mother's tightly and like her,he was beaming. Harry smiled sadly at the sight. His eyes stung again, but not from tiredness. Harry continued his evaluation of the photo. A hand was resting on Lupin's shoulder and Harry noticed it belonged to a handsome young man who was laughing and smiling like the others. His face was fuller and less shrunken than it was now. His hair was thick and lushious. Harry commented on how different Azkaban had made him. He smiled at his Godfather Sirius who was using his spare hand to wave at the camera. With surge of anger, Harry noticed the small, wormy body of Peter Petigrew standing by his father. He too was smiling, but on his face it looked like a smirk. Harry clenched his fists in fury. How dare he stand next to his parents. How dare he be anywhere near them. Harry's eye caught sight of his mother and father again and he stood mesmerised by their smiles.

Lupin re-entered the room, his hands full with the two mugs to see Harry gazing hungrily at the photo of him and his friends. Quietly he placed the mugs down on the table. Harry was too caught up in the world of the photo to notice so he walked towards him and stood by his side. Harry was still oblivious to his company. Lupin rested a hand softly on Harry's shoulder making him jump.  
"Sorry sir, i was just looking at-" Harry choked and Lupin felt a surge of pity and sadness.  
"Its ok." he smiled at Harry. The boy looked down angrily. "He was supposed to be their friend." Harry spat. Lupin looked back at the photo to see the exlanation of Harry's anger personified in the body of a weak, rat-like young man.  
"He fooled us all." Lupin agreed. Harry was still unable to look up. His eyes were blurring with angry tears and they were stinging more sharply than ever. Lupin noticed Harry brush a tear away with his fist and felt another surge of pity.

Before he knew what was happening, Harry was sobbing violently into his fists and Lupin was standing awkwardly beside him. He wanted to reach out to the boy and pull him into a hug. Tell him it would be ok, but he wasn't that close to him and he didn't want to scare him. Harry looked up through his tears, his eyes were red and pleading. Remus pulled him close with the arm that had been resting on his shoulder. Harry cried into Lupin's chest. His sobs were muffled by his shirt and Remus stroke his back comfortingly. Harry had his arms raised defensively in fists up to his chest and Lupin waited patiently until he had shed all his tears before letting go of the boy's quivering form.

Remus sighed. It was time he took charge and demanded to help the boy. 


	6. Chapter 6

Chapter 6

Harry didn't know why he did it. It was a mixture of anger, sadness and tiredness. Before he could get a grasp of his emotions his eyes defied him and began spilling out tears as fast as they could. He gave in to his emotions and sobbed openly .Not wanting Lupin to see him this way, Harry covered his face with his fists and wept into them.

It was all too much. It was eating away at him inside. He couldn't hide it any longer. He needed Lupin to know. He looked up at his professor who was standing beside him awkwardly ,one hand placed on his shoulder. Without words, Harry tried to communicate his deisre for help. Lupin seemed to read his thoughts and dragged him into a comforting hug. Harry relaxed in his arms. He felt his tears running off his face and onto Lupin's shirt. The man was very thin but very warm and Harry felt safe in his arms. He stroked his back gently and with each movement Harry began to calm down.

"This must be what its like to have a dad." Harry thought miserably. Everyday he wished his parents were still with him. When he was tired, stressed, hungry, bored or anything at all. He wanted his dad to be there to pull him into a hug like Lupin just had; to tell him it would be ok and to give him patient advice. He wanted his mum to be there, he wanted her to sort everything out. He wanted to hear their voices chanting out words of comfort. Instead he heard Lupin's.

"It'll be ok Harry." Harry broke down again. Thinking of his parents hadn't helped. He felt close to the young teacher, especially now he knew how good friends he had been with his parents. If Harry couldn't have James Potter, if Harry couldn't have Sirius Black, then he would have Remus Lupin. He knew that Lupin would look after him. He knew that he'd be safe with him and he leant closer into the hug and poured his heart out through each tear. Lupin seemed to know and squeezed him tightly.

Lupin was patient with Harry and didn't release him until his tears had subsided and his frantic gulps for air were slowing. He let go of Harry who was shaking slightly and leant down to pick up the mug of tea. He pressed it into the boy's hand and led him to the sofa once again. Harry sat down and took a gulp of tea. Lupin picked up his own cup and took his place next to Harry.  
"S-s-sorry professor." Harry choked "I dont normally cry." Lupin chuckled gently.  
"We all get upset Harry, its nothing to be ashamed of." he then took a sip of tea so Harry could use this distraction to wipe his eyes hastily.

The boy drank his tea in silence, still hicoughing every now and again. Lupin noticed how he shook and trembled and felt an over-whelming sense of sympathy for the young man.

He had cried like that. The last time he had sobbed like that it had been on his own. He sat with his knees drawn up to his chest his fists clasped so tightly his nails cut the palms of his hands. He had cried until he had been sick. Then he had fallen asleep f, alone on a cold kitchen floor. It had been when Lily and James were killed. He never wanted Harry to experience that. He never wanted Harry to be so desperately alone that he had to pour out his soul onto a grubby floor. He was glad that Harry had cried on him. It meant that someone had been there to help him through.  
Once the mugs were empty and Harry's breathing had returned to normal, Lupin started the conversation.  
"What is upsetting you Harry? Lupin asked gently.  
"Well..." Harry began "I-" he didn't know how to tell him. He didn't know how to say it to Lupin without sounding childish.  
"Harry, whatever it is I will try my best to help you. If you do not wish me to get other people involved, then your secret is safe with me." This helped. Harry stumbled over his words,  
"I- I have these dreams." he began "They are horrible." his voice quivvered and choked but Lupin placed a soft hand on his shoulder which urged him to continue.  
"I see, I see how everyone is going to die. I see people dying all the time." His eyes prickled again.  
"The worst bit is, I don't know if they're true. I don't know if it is how people will die. They are so realistic, see. I've seen loads of people die or get hurt and I just don't know what to do." his voice cracked again. Lupin was frowning slightly but he didn't speak, Harry continued.  
"The thing is, I don't see everyone die. I only see certain people. Its been getting worse. It started with people I didn't know which was upsetting but i shook it off, thinking it was only a dream. Now I see people that I love and last night- last night i saw how my parents died." he stopped, unable to carry on. Lupin didn't repsond immediately. He gazed into his hand then said, in a low voice.  
"Harry, it is not uncommon to dream about death." Harry knew it. Lupin didn't get it.

"No. Its not like a normal dream." he protested "I've dreamt about death before, but this is like...different. Its like a camera, following the person through their last moments, it zooms in on them as they die and I watch them. All the ways they die... they're so realistic and believable and..." he stopped, took a breath, then continued "I see the deaths of people who've already died like my parents and like Quirrel and other people."

Lupin didn't want to admit it but he was concerned. There was a rare piece of old magic which enabled people to see future deaths. He didn't want to worry Harry so he smiled kindly and said "Harry, I believe you. However, we cannot prove that the dreams are real. For now, to help settle your mind, convince yourself that they are just dreams. In the meantime, I will do all I can to find out whether it is possible for them to be real." Harry looked calmer and pleased with Lupin's response. Lupin didn't like lying to Harry but as he already knew the outcome of his investigtion he felt it would be easier for Harry to at least get on with his life for now.

"Sir?" Harry muttered. Lupin nodded to him.  
"Well...erm... I just wanted to say thank you." Lupin smiled "Harry, I am here to look after you, you do not need to thank me." Harry blushed "Yeah but... I feel bad, dumping my problems on you." He looked down, embarrassed.  
"It does not bother me Harry, I'm just glad you aren't suffering in silence. Do you mind if I discuss the topic of your dreams with the Headmaster? I just feel he may know more about it." Harry nodded and agreed.

"Excellent. Dont worry, I'll find out what they are." Lupin smiled at Harry.  
"Professor?" Harry asked "Yes?"  
"You knew my dad well, didn't you?" Lupin's smile faded. His expression changed from calm to sadness.  
"Yes."  
"He died first."

Harry couldn't believe he had just said that. He could see it had upset Lupin but something inside him, urged him to continue. He wasn't sure why. 


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"He died first."

The words caught Remus off guard and his body froze in shock at the young man's words. He didn't want to didn't want to know how they died.

"Harry-" He began but the boy continued "He told her to take me and run. He begged her to go. He ran into the hallway."

Lupin couldn't breathe. His whole body was frozen in shock, digust and anticipation. His mind was a frantic jumble of thoughts. He wanted Harry to continue but with each word a sickness rose up in his stomach.

"Please" Lupin whispered, tears stinging his eyes.

Harry could see how upset it was making Lupin, but he needed him to know. He continued ignoring the man's desperately soft plea for him to stop.

"She ran upstairs. He stayed in the hallway and waited. The door burst open but Voldemort was faster. He killed him really quickly."

Lupin felt tears rolling down his cheeks but he did nothing to stop them. He was stuck, paralysed by the intensity of Harry's words.

"Before he died he shouted for her. He shouted 'Lily'." Harry was crying again but he had to continue.

"James," Lupin groaned miserably as a fresh set of tears rolled down his face. Harry carried on,

"He stepped over his body and made his way upstairs. She was barricading the door."

In Lupin's mind the tragic film was playing itself out. He could imagine it. He imagined him fall. He imagined her panic. It stabbed at his heart.

"He blew it open." Harry heard Lupin whimper softly but ignored it. He needed to know.

"She begged him. She cried and begged. She said "Take me, not Harry. Please ,Take me instead."" Lupin was sobbing silently, his eyes were closed and his hand were crunched up into fists.

"He warned her to move. She begged him again. Asked him for mercy. He killed her."

At this Lupin's eyes snapped open and he gulped in some air making a horrid choking sound.

"Then he cast the spell at me. I saw him die too." Harry finished.

"I'm sorry." he said to Lupin.

The man was bent forwards, his fringe covering his eyes. Tear tracks glistened like diamonds on his cheeks as the firelight washed over his pale face. His fist were loose, he looked broken.

Harry felt guilty for telling him. He felt awful as he saw the grief in the young teacher's eyes but he needed to tell him. He needed him to know. He knew he would believe him now.

They sat in silence for a while. Harry watched as Lupin seemed to fight an internal battle. He saw him take jagged breaths. Harry was crying too but his tears were rolling down his already stained face. He moved closer towards the man. His face snapped up and he saw his eyes were full of sorrow and fury. Harry pulled him into a hug and Lupin flinched at his moved Harry around so that his arm was around the boy's shoulder. When he spoke, his voice was hoarse and cracked.

"I'm sorry Harry. I'm so, so sorry." Harry sobbed into the man's body again. Lupin had done his crying. He had done it the night they died. He had dealt with his greif. He needed to help Harry. Harry whose parents had been killed. Harry who had to relive it in his dreams. He held the boy until he fell asleep then he stroked his hair down and lay him on the sofa. He pulled the same blanket he had used the last time over Harry and left the room.

He couldn't sleep. He sat down and for the second time in his life broke down on the kitchen floor. 


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**(Just a short one guys but I think you'll enjoy it :) Thanks for your comments and reviews :)x)**

It was nearly dawn. Lupin had cried enough and had spent the last few hours sat with back against a cupboard, his knees tucked up at his chest. His arms were wrapped around his legs and his face was stiff from abandoned tears. He sat, gazing at the opposite wall in the dark. He wasn't really looking, just keeping his eyes open because when they closed he saw them die again. His mouth was slightly open and dry. His hair was ruffled from hours previous where he had tugged at it and ran furious fingers through it trying to hurt his head. Now he sat in silence. He hadn't calmed down so much as broken. He couldn't do anything. He felt the goosepimples on his arms but igorned the cold that was engulfing his body.

Harry had done the right thing. He had told him something he knew would make him believe. Lupin felt disgusted that the boy had to relive this every night. It was no wonder he was distracted and drunk. He suspected that he and Harry were the only ones who knew about the dreams.

What struck Lupin the worst was how James had died for Lily. He had stayed behind, knowing there was no way he would survive to let her get away. He had sacrificed his life for her. Then, as he fell, he called her name. Lupin felt sick.

He closed his mouth and began to pull himself up. The story had made him realise something. He needed to do something he had been putting off for a long time.

_Dear Nymphadora,_

_How are you? I hope that you are well. I'm sorry I haven't written for a while. I would like to apologise. I'm very sorry for how I spoke to you. I pushed you away because I didn't want to hurt you but I've realised that in doing so I hurt you more. I'm sorry that I let my 'furry little problem' get in the way of something that could have been life changing. I realised something, with the help of a friend, you can't go through life alone and if you love someone then you should be willing to do anything for them._

_I love you Nymphadora. I'm very sorry for how I treated you and I hope you can forgive me._

_Yours Always_

_Remus_

**_Thanks for your continued support, next chapter very soon :) x_**


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

**Dear Readers, I feel that if I write any more tonight I may die. I do not wish for this to happen so to avoid it being the case, I am considering this as the last chapter to be written today. I am afraid you will have to cope with a cliff hanger! Lots of love bond2012 x**

Harry awoke to find himself lying, once again on the red sofa belonging to Remus Lupin. He looked around but didn't see the man himself. He picked up his glasses off the coffee table and slid them onto his face, looking around again to see if he'd missed the man. No. It was silent in the chamber. He sat up and looked down at the table.

On it was a note which read:

_Dear Harry,_

_I have alerted your other teachers that you will not be arriving at class today. I have also told Madame Pomfrey that you will arrive at the hospital wing as soon as you have awoken. I have left the door unlocked._

_Professor Lupin_

Harry stood up slowing, rubbing his eyes. He felt really bad. He had forced his professor to listen to the account of how his best friends died. He had seen how upset Lupin had been and wondered whether he had slept that night. Harry folded the blanket and began righting his uniform. Once again he found his shoes placed neatly by the sofa and began lacing them up. He scribbled a quick 'Thank You' on the bottom of the note and made his way to the hospital wing.

It was mid way through the morning and all the students were in lessons except some of the older students who had free periods. However the corridors were empty as Harry walked. He was thankful for this as he still didn't feel up to conversation. Upon entering the hospital wing he was ambushed by Madame Pomfrey who began checking his temperature and casing diagnostic spells as she led him to a bed. He climbed onto it and took off his shoes. She bustled away to retreive some potions. Harry was glad she didn't ask questions. When she returned he saw to his distaste that he was to take 3 potions.

1) Pain relieving potion for his head 2) pepper up (because he looked ill)  
3) Dreamless sleep

He took them all silently and lay down as he felt the pleasant sensation of weightlessness and felt all the tension and fear removed from his head from the combined potions.

When he awoke, it was almost time for dinner. He felt his stomach grumble impatiently as he sat up waiting for Madame Pomfey's permission to leave. She ran some more tests then told him to take a vial of dreamless sleep tonight when he went to bed. He thanked her and made his way to the Great Hall. He was one of the first people to arrive and took a solitary place near the head of the Gryffindor table. Slowly the hall began to fill up and the sound of chattering students made the room buzz. Harry ate slowly waiting for Ron and Hermione. They hurried towards him looking angry and anxious.

When they got near Ron punched Harry in the shoulder and said in a slightly angry voice "Where the hell have you been?" Hermione looked past herself with worry.  
"Yes Harry would you mind telling us where you have been, considering you disappeared last night and didn't return. Then we found out that you were in the hospital wing all day?!" She looked furious. Harry put down his knife and fork and said

"Sorry. I went to see Professor Lupin and erm...we got talking about my parents." Both of his friends' expressions softened considerably.  
"Oh" said Hermione in a small voice.  
"I've just been feeling a bit down, y'know and he used to know them. I stayed there all night talking. I went to the hospital wing to get some sleep without getting wrong for skipping class." His half truthful explanation seemed to satisfy them and nothing else was said except "Next time just tell us, yeah?" by Ron.

Harry chatted with his friends about their day while they ate. He kept making quick glances up at the staff table but Lupin did not appear. He felt very guilty. Ron was telling him all about the divination lesson and how, with Harry gone, Trelawney took the time to elaborate on how she was sorry to inform the class that she predicted that Harry was suffering a long term illness which would include his face swelling to twice its usual size and his arms becoming covered in boils before he eventually died. Harry laughed with his friends, feeling for the first time in weeks, relaxed and free. He was glad he had confided in Lupin but he felt very guilty that it had troubled the young teacher so much.

Later that evening, Harry was relaxing in the common room with Hermione and Ron when Hedwig tapped her claw on the glass of the window. Harry hurried over to let her in. She nibbled his finger affectionately as he untied to scroll attatched to her leg. Once it was free she took off into the night, her wings spread wide like a ghost. Harry undid the scroll and read it quickly. He did not recognise the long, thin writing at first.

_Dear Harry_

_I would like to speak with you tomorrow evening regarding your problem that you discussed with Professor Lupin. I believe we have some answers for you._

_Yours Faithfully_

_Professor Dumbledore_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

**Ok so I lied a bit, here's chapter 10 :P Also I apologise for putting the same chapter up for 5 and 6 and thank you to showstopper92 for letting me know :) I've replaced number 6 with the right one now so go and take a look :) bond2012 x**

Harry hurried along to Dumbledore's office the next evening, ignoring everyone and everything that passed him, including Peeves.  
"Why its wee Potty!" He called but Harry was already turning the corner and was too far away to hear his taunts. He reached the stone gargoyles in no time and stopped. "What do you want?" one of them spat. "Erm...I've got a meeting with Dumbldore." Harry explained.  
"Oh really?" the other gargoyle sneered, his companion laughed then chipped in "And how do we know that you're telling the truth?"  
"Erm well..." Harry began but a quiet voice behind him stopped his words.  
"Because I, Professor Lupin can confirm it." The gargoyles sneered but obliged at Lupin's words. Harry snapped his neck around to see Lupin. He looked tired and weak. His face had a few fresh scars on it and he had bags under his eyes. Depsite this, he smiled pleasantly at Harry who returned it.  
"Good evening Harry." he said as they clambered onto the Phoenix staircase. Harry didn't know how to respond so he began to break into a hasty apology.  
"I'm sorry about the other night Professor-" Lupin waved a hand indicating that he should stop talking.  
"There is no need to apologise." there was a slightly awkward and uncomfortable silence between the pair as they rose up to the headmaster's office.

Harry felt worse now. He knew that he had ruined their relationship by telling Lupin the gory details of his parents' death. He kept flicking his eyes up to the man but he was staring ahead. Harry felt an awful churning guilt in his stomach. They had reached the door and Lupin knocked on it gently. Harry heard Dumbledore call "Enter" as the door swung open without being touched. Harry followed Lupin into the large office.

Sat behind the desk was Albus Dumbledore, his beard glimmered silver in the dim lighting and he was smiling as though delighted to see the two guests. He summoned to chairs quickly and pointed to them. Lupin sat on the left and Harry on the right.

"Excellent. How are you feeling Remus?" Dumbledore addressed the young teacher with a concerned frown. Lupin smiled his usual polite smile and said,  
"No worse than usual sir." Dumbledore nodded saying "Very good." He then turned to Harry and smiled.

"How are you Harry?" Harry felt very awkward. He looked down and mumbled "Alright thanks." not sure whether he should repeat the question back on its originator or not. Dumbledore chuckled and then began.  
"Good, Professor Lupin has explained the nature of your dreams to me Harry and has expressed his concern about what he thinks they may be. I, also have given the matter great thought and together we have come up with a solution." Harry looked up hopefully.  
"To determine whether these dreams speak of reality or are simply nightmares, there is a simple test. We must extract the memory of each dream and watch it in the penseive." Harry was not sure what Dumbledore was talking about and extracting a memory sounded painful.  
"Erm...I don't understand sir." Harry admitted "A pensieve is a magical object which allows the owner to watch memories again. Extracting a memory is very simple and painless." Dumbledore explained as though he had read both of Harry's concerns from his head.  
"Oh...ok. But how will we know if its real or not?" Harry asked, still not fully understanding the plan.

"Ah," said Dumbledore, "If the memory of the dream has a fuzzy purple frame around the outsides of the image, it is simply imagined. If it is clear, then it is reality."  
"But sir," piped Harry "there was no purple fuzz in the dream."  
"It cannot be viewed from the original witnessing of the event." Dumbledore explained "Shall we begin?"

Harry, although he was extremely unnerved by the plan ,nodded and stood up.

"While I prepare the penseive, Professor Lupin will extract the memories." Dumbledore said as he stood up and walked off further into the office.

Lupin walked towards Harry and smiled again.

"There is no need to worry, it will cause you no pain." Lupin chuckled. He raised his wand and placed the tip gently on Harry's left temple. Harry was unsure whether he should close his eyes or not. Lupin muttered something under his breath and a long glowing blue string began to unravel itself from Harry's head. He panicked, Lupin put his free hand on his shoulder to keep him still as he extracted the memory.

Once it was free, Lupin looked at Harry. His face was contorted and he looked nauseated. Lupin laughed again.  
"Its just a memory Harry, there's no need to look so disgusted." Harry didn't look relaxed at all by this explanation so Lupin told him to sit down, he didn't fancy cleaning up another pile of his vomit.  
"I don't suppose you would like to relive the dreams would you?" Harry shook his head but didn't speak. Lupin nodded his understanding.  
"Professor Dumbledore and I shall watch them then report back to you. There are rather a lot, how long have you been having these dreams?"  
"Weeks." Harry mumbled.  
Lupin told Harry to stay in the chair as they checked out each dream.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

**Ahoy Shipmates! Here's the next chapter! Oh and I'd like to apologise for a mistake in the previous one, I did not mean to imply that Lupin had just experienced another transformation. I put that he head 'fresh scars' IGNORE THAT PLEASE. I'd go back and change it but I can't be bothered :P Have fun bond2012 x**

Lupin left Harry sitting in the chair by Dumbledore's desk and walked over to the Headmaster who was standing by the large stone dish. He smiled encouragingly and Lupin poured the first strand of memory into its depths. He leaned forward and felt an unexplanable sensation of being surrounded by something less than liquid but more than gas. He felt like he was falling as he swirled around the broken images. Suddenly everything came into focus and he was standing on the outskirts of Harry's memory. He watched as Ronald Weasley dueled violently with a masked death eater. He saw a purple jet of light and saw the boy fall. His eyes glassy and unseeing. He gasped at the vivid reality of the dream before realsing to check for purple fuzz. He looked up and saw, to his great relief, what looked like a buzzing electric field around the edge of the image. It was bright purple. Pulling himself out of the penseive he regained his bearings before turning to the headmaster who was looking at him expectantly.

"Fake." he said. Dumbledore broke into a wide smile.  
"Excellent. Go and tell Harry, I will check the next one." Lupin obeyed Dumbledore's command and headed towards Harry. The boy was sitting back in the chair, he looked small and frail. His hair was ruffled like his fathers and his glasses were balancing on his nose. Lupin walked towards him to see that his eyes were drooping slightly. He looked as exhausted as Lupin felt.

Harry jumped when he heard Lupin approaching. He had almost fallen asleep. He hadn't slept for days despite Lupin's advice to ignore the dreams. He was scared of closing is eyes, he never wanted to relive the death of is parents again. While the other boys in his dorm drifted off, Harry stayed awake or pretended to sleep. He had spent many nights watching the moon until it was led away by the rising of the sun. He looked up at Lupin waiting for news.

"The dream about Ronald Weasley," Lupin began. Harry felt his whole body clench defensively, bracing itself for bad news. That dream had struck him pretty bad and he remembered how peaceful and empty Ron looked as he fell. His stomach churned as he waited for Lupin to finish. "it was not real. It was simply a nightmare." Lupin smiled at Harry as he saw the boys expression relax and almost laughed at the relief that washed over his body. "Professor Dumbledore is currently examining the next dream however I believe that because this dream was a fake, the others may be to." Harry was glad to hear this. Unbelievably glad. He felt like he could cast an amazingly bright patronus from the swelling happiness that was bubbling in his stomach. He could barely conceal his grin. Lupin returned his smile then walked back to the pensieve which Dumbledore's head was now emerging from.  
"Another fake Harry." he called brightly "Miss Granger will not die by falling off a thestral on a rescue mission." Harry grinned again. He felt so relieved.

The examination of the dreams continued late into the night. As Lupin had suspected, the dreams all seemed to be fakes. Harry was begininning to drop off to sleep in the comfortable chair. Dumbledore's head was reappearing from the pensieve.

"Another fake. Although your death there was rather upsetting, Remus." Dumbledore admitted. Lupin was shocked. Harry had dreamt his death? All the other dreams were of people he cared for; Ron and Hermione, his best friends, Mr and Mrs Weasley who had cared for him during many holidays, Hagrid who had treat Harry like a best friend, Ginny who he had rescued from the Chamber of Secrets and Sirius who was his godfather. Did this mean Harry cared about Lupin? He didn't know how to feel. He was glad that Harry had trusted and confided in him but he was not used to being cared about by other people. He had spent most of his life alone since James and Lily died. After their deaths he had been left friendless. True, he cared about Harry a great deal, but he had known him since he was a baby and had known his parents too. Harry had only met Lupin last year and barely knew him at all. Feeling rather touched, he built up the courage to ask a question which was tearing away at his mind.  
"H-how did I die?" he asked Dumbledore. "During a transformation." He replied, his voice very thick.  
"Oh." Lupin said in reply. Harry worried about that?  
"Remus, Harry cares a great deal for you. I think perhaps you should explain how you cope with your condition to him. It might help him relax. These dreams are a direct result of his fears of losing those close to him. He can't control the factors which lead to their deaths. Your transformations are something terrifying and alien to him. He isn't even sure how they work. The dream portrayed the change very innaccurately. You have been the closest thing to a father he has this year. He deserves the truth." The headmaster began to walk back to his desk.

"I think you should watch the last one." he said mysteriously. Lupin stared into the swirling depths of the memory, then with a deep breath he plunged into the stone basin.

He was standing in a house he knew very well. He was standing in the corner of a sitting room he had sat in many times before. There was a man he knew like a brother sitting on the sofa with a small baby boy sitting in front of him. The boy was squealing with joy as the man made bubbles appear from the end of his wand. With each squeel the toddler made, the man laughed his charming cheery laugh that Lupin had grown up with. He ruffled his hair out of habit and then continued making the boy laugh.

"No." Lupin murmered, but something kept him there, something made him watch.

A woman entered the room, her long red hair swishing behind her. She was smiling with the man as she looked down on her little son. "Time for bed Harry!" she said in a voice filled with love. Lupin felt his eyes welling as he watched her pick up the boy. A loud bang on the door made James start. He jumped up grabbing his wand tightly. "Lily its him. Go take Harry and go." He said in a commanding voice. His eyes were filled with fear and anger. Lily clutched Harry to her chest but didn't move, her eyes were also filled with paralysing fear.  
"GO!" James shouted. The sound of his voice started her and she turned and fled up the stairs still clutching the boy. James exited the room, Lupin was dragged with him. Remus was trembling. He thought he was going to be sick. It was exactly as he had imagined it. James shook with fear as the door burst open. He had barely raised his wand before a cold voice silenced him forever. Lupin yelled "NO!" as James Potter fell to the floor. A soft sound escaped his mouth "Lily" Lupin was shaking violently and resisting the urge to vomit. He was dragged up the stairs to follow Lily through her last moments. She was barricading the door furiously. Harry was crying from his cot. Lupin watched her shaking as she held her wand tightly. The door burst open. Lupin whimpered as Lily begged. He watched as the curse ended her life and he fell to the floor as she fell. His legs had given in and he lay in a crumpled heap, he looked up just in time to see Voldemort's curse hit Harry. He watched as the Dark Lord's body crumpled and Harry's head bled from the cut. He saw the body disappear and as the memory faded, he heard Harry Potter's traumatised screams.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

**I know Dumbledore seems really cruel making Lupin watch that, but I swear there is a reason :) x**

Lupin felt himself being dragged upwards by an invisible hand. He felt sick and dizzy as Dumbledore's office materialised around him. It was quiet but Harry's screams were ringing in his ears. His body was frozen and he thought moving would just make him vomit. He was trembling all over.  
"Its horrible isn't it?" a quiet voice said behind him. He turned to see Harry standing there looking thoroughly miserable but determined. Lupin couldn't respond.  
"I know. I know how you feel. You feel sick. You feel like your going to faint. You feel like your whole body will never stop shaking. You feel like your heart is about to explode." Harry said, his voice steady. "I know because I felt it too. I saw this and I felt like that."  
Lupin looked at Harry wondering why he was saying this.  
"Professor, I saw that and I bottled it up inside. I felt like I couldn't tell anyone. The problem is that my friends, they just worry. Teachers get all worried as well but they give you this look, its like they are trying to tell if you are telling the truth. Sirius gets all funny when I try to talk about my dad. He sort of goes all stiff and won't talk anymore. I-I needed someone. People don't like me talking about my parents because the public just think i'm being dramatic. They're like "Oh it happened ages ago, he never even knew them" and my friends are all sympathetic but not in a good way. I can't tell them about it and it hurts because i need to. I need help. Sir, you... you're different. You don't try and tell me what to do or tell me that you understand. You just listen and I like that. See to everyone else, I have to be a hero or everyone thinks i'm the same as my dad and treat me like him; but with you, I can just be Harry."

Lupin didn't know what to say. He was touched by what Harry had said, but he couldn't understand how he was so different. He had still told Harry "It'll be ok" when he cried, he still cried when he heard about it and he went all stiff and unresponsive when Harry had told him the gory details.

"Professor, I knew that you were different when I told you about the dream. You didn't get up and leave or force me to stop. You just took it and it upset you and you weren't afraid to show me that it was upsetting. You didn't try to hide the fact that it was a horrible thing. So... thank you."

Lupin looked at Harry. He still looked small and scared but his eyes glowed with determination and bravery. Lupin admired how calm he was. He himself was still trembling but the sickness was dying off.

"Thank you Harry" was all he could muster. The boy nodded and smiled sadly. He turned and walked out of the office calling "I'll see you later Professor." as he went. Lupin stood alone for a few moments before another voice spoke to him.  
"Well done Remus."Dumbledore said. "You have given Harry something nobody else has, you've given him someone to confide in."

Lupin turned and looked at Dumbledore. "Watching that proved to him that you really were the same as you were the night he confided in you. You haven't hidden the truth from him and for that he is grateful." Dumbledore nodded then said "You should go and get some sleep."

Remus Lupin made his way back to his room as the sun rose that morning. He was exhausted, but instead of collapsing into his bed,he prepared for his first lesson and attempted to take on the day the way he normally would. Now he had two things looming over him; the memory of his friends death and the approaching full moon.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

The day was long. Harry was exhausted as he hadn't slept that night. He nearly drifted off as the sickly smell of insence and warm hazy atmosphere of divination threatened to engulf him. Despite his exhaustion he was in a really good mood. A momentous weight had been lifted from his chest now that he knew the dreams were fake. He felt free and safe again. He was no longer afraid to face the nightly terrors knowing they could not hurt him or his friends. He was also glad to have found a friend in Remus Lupin. He had learned a lot about the man over the past week and having the previous night confirm his realisation he felt closer than ever to his Defence Professor.

Lupin was a figure who Harry could trust. He helped him instead of trying to quench his fears with unsatifactory explanations. He jumped into action while calming Harry and helping him cope. He was also unafraid of admitting the truth. Harry appreciated that Lupin could display emotion and would not keep fact from him. He was the father that Harry had only experienced for a short time but had so desperately longed for since.

While Ron tried to lazily decipher the mysterious hidden deep in Harry's tea leafs, Harry relaxed and began to look forward to spending time with his friends again like a normal teenager. He felt no different to his classmates, excited for the warm weather and lazy days by the lake.

Meanwhile Remus Lupin felt ill. He was still unnerved by his experience with the pensieve and his fingers still shook as he tried to teach. He too was exhausted but he was feeling it worse than Harry as tonight was the full moon. His whole body was weak and his stress levels were through the roof. He had a niggling fear of the approach of night because he knew what it meant. He was pale and shaking and many of the otherteachers suggested he took the day off. In response to their concern he simply smiled and told them he was used to it. He was constantly resisting the urge to vomit and by the time dinner was upon him, he thought he was going to pass out. He sat at the staff table taking deep calming breaths, his stomach doing backflips of fear. He tried to eat but the food felt disgusting in his mouth. Many of the students seemed to notice how ill he looked and they were starting to whisper so he put his knife and fork together, drained his cup reluctantly, flashed a smile at the worried staff and set off out of the Great Hall trying to look normal. He felt eyes following him but didn't look back. He was so focused on trying to calm down that he walked straight into someone.

"Oh sorry." He said looking up to see how he had trodden on. "Do watch where you are going Remus, I do not feel that many people like being stood on." It was Snape. He was carrying a steaming goblet which he thrust into Lupin's hand.  
"Oh, thank you!" Lupin breathed a sigh of relief, at least he could keep his head tonight.  
"Hm." Snape sniffed before walking away without another glance. Lupin drained the goblet quickly before it disappeared in his hand. He walked back to his chamber to wait for the moon to rise. It was only 5pm and it wouldnt rise until about 7pm. He began to mark some essays to distract himself but decided to stop when he realised he had written the same sentence twice amid glances at the clock. It was 6.30pm. He sighed and put down his quill.

Collecting his wand on the way, he headed to the door. He was shaking with fear again and decided to take a slow walk to the shack. There was nobody in the corridors, he suspected they were still at dinner, so his walk was undisturbed. He was just about to exit through the main doors when an owl swooped down and dropped a scroll at his feet before taking off again and soaring out of sight. Confused, he bent down to pick it up. The writing was familiar.

_About time. Oh and don't call me Nymphadora again or I'll shove my _

_ wand up your arse and curse you into next week_

He smiled to himself as he made his way across the grounds of Hogwarts. Was he forgiven?


	14. Chapter 14

Chapter 14

**Sorry for the short chapters but it was necessary :P x**

Lupin shivered as he undressed. It was freezing in the shack. He stuffed his clothes and wand under a loose floorboard and began to climb the rickety stairs to the second floor, shivering as he went. The shack was filthy, as usual, but there was one bed which was in reasonable condition. Lupin crawled under the covers to keep warm until he felt the miserably familiar pang up his spine. He crawled out and onto the floor as the second pang shot up the back of his neck. He braced himself for the worst which followed quickly. It was agonising.

His arms began to lengthen and he felt the bones inside them break sickeningly. He screamed in pain. His legs bent in funny angles as they changed and he felt his ankle snap. His knees twisted and his skin crawled and bubbled. He screamed and screamed in pain. He wanted to tear his bubbling skin off and began scratching against his common sense. His nails ripped out of his skin and began tearing the flesh off his arms. His skull was about to burst as ears pricked out the top of his head. It felt like his whole body was tearing itself apart. He cried and whimpered and screeched in pain. It was agony.

Then as quickly as it had began, it stopped. He panted and lay on the floor the warm fur of the wolf covering him. He sight was now colourless and as he regained his strength he looked around. Once he had located the bed, he jumped back onto it, hearing the springs creek under the weight of the wolf. He curled up and rested the night on the comfortable quilt. His mind was still his own and he began to contemplate the events of the week. He thought about the letter from Tonks. He wasn't sure he was forgiven but it was certainly something that she had replied. He had almost lost hope. He thought about inviting her to the next Hogsmede weekend. He cursed himself for letting her slip away. He shouldn't have told her it could never work. He should have admitted how he felt.

Thinking of Tonks was upsetting so he changed his thoughts to Harry. He was glad the boy was opening up to him. He was pleased he cared for him so much and he made a promise to himself that he would look after him and be there for him. His thoughts covered most of the night andas the sun rose he was still thinking of all the things he had to do that week. That was how he passed the time. As the wolf, he used the freedom to contemplate all his problems and how to solve them. It was the first agonising jolt that broke off his train of thought.

He felt a burst of pain in his head as his ears began to shrink back. He took a deep breath to calm his stomach as his arms shrunk and snapped back into shape. He screamed again and jerked around on the floor as the transformation took place. He thwacked his head off the edge of the bed and kicked out, breaking his ankle on a floorboard that was sticking up. He rolled around and screamed until he finally returned to his own body.

He lay panting and sweating on the floor. Sickness rose in his stomach as he saw the gruesome shape of his broken ankle. He tried to calculate the injuries. There were a couple of broken fingers, a few broken ribs, some nasty cuts from scratching his skin, a black eye and an egg on his head from the bump on the bed, a broken ankle and a couple of bruises on his arms. He dragged himself up and winced in pain as his ankle touched the floor. He stumbled, tripped and moaned as he made his way back downstairs. Grabbing his wand, he began to try and heal as many injuries as he could. He put his ankle in a splint and cast a spell to dress himself. It was very early and he stumbled back down to the hospital wing.

Madame Pomfrey met him at the door and helped him into his bed. He lay there trying to stay awake as she healed his many inuries. Finally she handed him a vial of dreamless sleep. He took it gratefully and thanked her in a quiet voice. She smiled and left him to get some rest. He felt the familiar sleepy haze take over and relaxed into the comfortable bed.


	15. Chapter 15

Chapter 15

**This is the final chapter guys! Thanks for all your support and kind reviews. I'm really grateful to everyone who has read this story and any of my other work. I'm quite proud of this story and hope you have enjoyed it. Any more comments/suggestions are welcome :) bond2012 x**

It had been two days since the full moon and Harry was heading to Lupin's office to thank him before the school year ended. He approached the door and knocked before waiting outside. He heard the familiar voice call "Come in!"

Harry opened the door and walked into Lupin's office. The man himself was packing all his books into his trunk but he stopped what he was doing to welcome Harry.

"Good morning Harry" he said with a smile.  
"Hi," Harry said. "I wanted to say thanks for this year." Lupin laughed and smiled at him "Its quite alright!" Harry smiled and walked towards him. He handed him a small parcel, wrapped up.  
"Whats this?" Lupin asked ,confused.  
"Just a gift to say thanks, i thought you might need it." Lupin frowned "You didn't need to do this Harry." he scolded "No, I wanted to. Will you write to me this summer? I like to hear from people when I'm with the muggles." "Of course I will." Lupin smiled. "You'd better be going Harry, thanks again for the gift."  
Harry nodded then left the room with a quick wave.

Lupin opened the gift alone. There was a note and a bar of honeyduke's chocolate. He smiled at the thoughtful gift and placed it on his coffee table. He opened the note which was written in Harry's scrawl.

_Dear Professor Lupin,_

_Thanks for this year, you've been a great help. I bought you some chocolate because I know its just been the full and you once told me 'Chocolate fixes everything'. Please write to me this year in the summer. Sirius doesn't really have time, being on the run and its nice to hear from people. I'm sorry I made you watch and listen to the memory of my parents but it really helped me realise how truthful you are. You're the only person who lets me talk about it. Thanks again and I hope to see you soon._

_Love Harry_

Lupin smiled and picked up the chocolate. He snapped off a bit and put it in his mouth. It was delicious. He smiled and continued packing away his books. He thought about what was in store these holidays. He was excited to meet up with Tonks and finally start building a relationship together. He had enough money from his year's work to buy himself a better house and perhaps ask Tonks to share it with him. He smiled at the thought of finally getting a normal life.

This summer was going to be very interesting.


End file.
